Intentional Repetiton

 

While in law school, a friend of mine had Burna Boy’s “Dangote” bursting from his car speakers every time we would meet up. It happened frequently enough for me to eventually ask him if this was his favorite song at that point in time, to which his response was “I play it daily, as motivation for me to get to where I need to be” (or something along those lines, because law school was a blur, but that interaction stuck).

 Just like his intentional repetition of this song, so is the power of habits in other ramifications of our lives. Not to oversimplify one of the best books I have read in the past few years, James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” speaks to such a power and provides strategies for effective implementation (i.e. – if you want to drink more water, placing a water jug by your bedside allows for easier access to implement this habit, than say, your water just always being in the fridge). My biggest buy in to habit implementation, if you will, is seeing how helpful it has been to accomplish a goal or just my general wellness. From the daily habit of studying that helped me pass the bar exam, to shaving daily to the point where my morning routine feels incomplete without it. Habits help.

Not all habits are easy to implement at the start. I can’t remember how often I studied inconsistently at the start of preparing for the bar exam until I built a steady pattern, repeated environment, coffee shop, book store, and all, but there was a clear difference in routine from the beginning to the end. Even with my daily shaving, purchasing a surplus of sticks was a game changer in implementing that habit, because I knew that I wasn’t running out of it any time soon. I have felt and seen a marked improvement in my cleanliness since implementing this habit.

Now, to developing a habit of writing. I want to become a better writer by the end of 2024. Before, I was quite lackadaisical about this practice. Since society’s sharp turn to visual content at the start of 2013, I felt as if there was no point since my writing won’t be consumed as much as visuals. It was only recently that I approached writing with a different mindset, simply that, just like any other hobby, my own interest in writing is enough for me to keep engaging, eyes on it or not. Writing will be one of the practices I intend to repeat consistently in the coming year. I enjoyed it as part of my travel blog, so I am sure transitioning to creative/general writing will not be so grudging.

 

Here are a few other intentions for the new year – I plan to flesh out the details in my personal journal:

·        Joining a community in my home base in the U.S.

·        Read more and complete my reading list for the year – becoming a better wordsmith along the way. I reckon the more I read, the more it will help improve my writing skills

·        Take on more clients with Oke Legal Group + provide informational immigration content

·        Organize various areas of my life - e.g. actually go through all travel folders and place them in their respective folders, and approach my folders at work with the same organizational approach

·        Use social media less and find things that bring more fulfillment to fill my time with

·        I would include the “you know what” here, but I want to trust God utterly and completely in this regard in the coming year that when the time is right, it will happen. For now, I enjoy the things I enjoy and build engaging projects along the way. To be honest, I find that when I am enjoying my projects, hobbies, and routine, I am concerned way less about that thing.

Here’s to our intentional repetitions. May they carry us where we want or need to be.

 

Funmi Oke

 

 

 

 

An Immaculate Prayer

It’s 7:44pm in Lagos, Nigeria. As I was leaving one of my close friends’ place to enter my Bolt, she noticed a full moon. She quickly pointed it out and told me to state my hearts’ desires. This then segued into an intense moment of prayer on both sides, and I felt the presence of God as she interceded on my behalf. Just me and her, with baby in hand, and God in our midst. 

I am grateful for this moment, and to a larger extent, this season. Without sounding trite, I know God aligned these moments perfectly. That in turn speaks to the way in which He is aligning my future. I thus shouldn’t fear, but should rather completely trust Him. Trust His plans for my life and know that He has far greater in store for me than I can imagine. 

It’s now 7:54 pm. As I sit in this standstill traffic on the way to Lekki, I have nothing but gratitude in my heart and hope for the future.

p.s. - Henceforth, I intend to edit all my posts before posting. 

-Funmi Oke 

catch dynamic flights.

 One of the reasons why I enjoy international flights is because of the interesting people I get to meet. It’s almost as if it’s the default now to meet interesting people if you book an international flight (n.B. this has been my experience mostly for travel outside of North America). It is also a lovely precursor to what should be a meeting of interesting people in the destination country.

Here are the people I met on my Egypt Air flight:

An older Nigerian Igbo couple basically didn’t leave my side at the boarding gate when they realized I was Nigerian (how they realized this, I am still not too sure). Once we got to the layover city, they asked if I was going to Abuja. I informed them no that my destination is Nairobi and wished them a safe travel onward.

Myself and a babe from New Dehli, India started getting to talk whilst looking for the immigration counter at the layover city. Apparently she was returning home for good after her inability to find work in her dream career of theater acting. I wanted to give her a hug.

The guy I sat next to on the flight insisted he is from Paris. Upon a few more “where are you really from”s he shared that he is of Mali origin. We spoke about different topics ranging from the pandemic, to body image, to the coup amongst other things.

An elderly man that only spoke only Arabic was meant to return to a specific counter and so another man was using his best English to try to explain this. Soon as someone pointed out he speaks only Arabic, that same man switched to Arabic to explain. The elderly man still didn’t follow the directions.

I enjoyed this aspect of travel and appreciate the interesting people I meet along my way. 

Funmi Oke

Living Single

 

I was reminded of the show Living Single yesterday, one of my favorite shows growing up. Similar to Girlfriends, I am rewatching (currently on episode 6) and wondering how this show kept my attention at such a young age. None of the topics or continuity points for the show were relevant to this 13 year old kid (ok dating, maybe). But to be fair, I started watching Living Single in my mid to late teens.

Watching the show now in my early thirties, I see alot of the things I go through in my day-to-day life mirrored on-screen. Again, the amount of Black sitcoms in the 90’s and early 2000’s  is highly under discussed. I wonder what the push for this was, as there is nearly not as much nowadays (TV/streaming dynamics have largely changed to be fair). Kelsey Grammar is considering a reboot of Girlfriends, as was reported earlier this week. 

Nonetheless, it’s always great to indulge in nostalgic media here and there, and dare I say that sometimes they tend to be better than present day media (tiktok, I am directly talking about you). 

Funmi Oke

Speed Limit 8

I took notice of this sign for the first time as I was driving into the parking garage of my office. I have been driving into this garage for three days a week at least since January. This awareness was a grounding technique.

Grounding Techniques, as described by PyschCentral, are strategies that help connect or “ground” you in the present moment. They’re essentially a form of mindfulness, which has been shown to help many different mental health conditions. They involve intentionally using your five senses to take note of exactly what you're hearing, feeling, seeing, touching, and smelling in that very moment, as a way to bring you 'back to earth' or back to your here and now. 

This was an unintentional grounding, but needed, nonetheless. I am quite prone to staying in my thoughts, but when I got acquainted with this practice, it has been a bit of a help in reducing the anxiety that said thoughts bring about. 

I am currently experiencing anxiety about my upcoming travel plans, the future, and a situation I am trying to bring back under control. Seeing the speed limit 8 this morning reminded me of exactly where I am right now, and such reminder is comforting. 

In balancing my anxiety with joy, I am excited to be away from my normal for a few weeks, the ways in which I plan to conceptualize (and add a digital component to) my travels and seeing my family/friends. 

Funmi Oke 

Overturning The Chevron Doctrine

 The Potential Impact of Overturning Chevron on Immigration Law

As immigration professionals and advocates, we are constantly navigating the complex and ever-evolving landscape of immigration law. One of the critical legal doctrines that has influenced how immigration law is interpreted and applied is the Chevron doctrine. The Supreme Court could be overturning that Doctrine in 2024. What is the potential impact of such a decision on immigration law and what are the the broader implications it could have?

The Chevron doctrine, established by the Supreme Court in Chevron U.S.A. Inc. v. Natural Resources Defense Council, Inc. (1984), provides a framework for how courts should review agency interpretations of statutes. Under Chevron, courts generally defer to an agency's reasonable interpretation of an ambiguous statute when Congress has delegated authority to the agency to make such interpretations.

Chevron has played a significant role in immigration law, particularly in cases involving the interpretation of immigration statutes and regulations. Immigration agencies, such as USCIS, ICE , EOIR, frequently rely on Chevron deference to support their decisions and policies.

If the Supreme Court were to overturn Chevron, it could have several notable effects on immigration law:

1. Reduced Deference to Agencies: Courts may be less inclined to defer to immigration agencies' interpretations of immigration statutes and regulations. This could lead to increased judicial scrutiny and potentially more challenges to agency decisions.
2. Greater Uncertainty: The absence of Chevron could result in more uncertainty in immigration law. Immigration practitioners and their clients may face challenges in predicting how courts will interpret immigration statutes and regulations, leading to legal ambiguity.
3. Impact on Administrative Changes: Chevron deference has historically allowed immigration agencies to implement policy changes more easily. Without Chevron, agencies may find it more challenging to enact certain policy shifts without facing immediate legal challenges.
4. Increased Litigation: The elimination of Chevron could potentially lead to a rise in litigation as parties seek judicial clarification on statutory and regulatory interpretations in immigration cases.
5. Potential for Legislative Action: If Chevron is overturned, it may prompt Congress to consider legislative action to clarify immigration statutes, which could result in amendments or updates to immigration laws.

The potential impact of overturning Chevron on immigration law remains uncertain, so it is essential to stay informed about developments in immigration law, including potential changes in judicial deference to agency interpretations. Immigration practitioners should be prepared to adapt to a shifting legal landscape and continue advocating for their clients' rights and interests in a potentially more challenging legal environment.

Funmi Oke 

"..so it’s farewell winshape *dramatic pause*

...right here is right where I belong"

 In efforts to capture a memory from my late teens to early twenties that I believe has not yet been captured, here's me writing about my experience working at Winshape Camps the summer after my freshman year of college (no photos will follow sha. It's on my Facebook if you have the access and interest).

My job as a camp counselor at WinShape Camps, a Christian camp sponsored (read: created) by the founders of Chick-fil-a was very on brand with my Christian walk at the time I took the position. A couple months prior, I had assumed the role of founding President of the Bethel Campus Fellowship, a role I took so seriously that I stopped going to parties, etc. That's neither here nor there - back to WinShape. Actually, it is in fact both here and there, because to aid in said commitment, I joined another Christian fellowship that some friends in my residence hall were a part of, and without me joining this ministry, I wouldn't have known about WinShape. While the name of that ministry escapes me, I found out about the summer gig through them. I applied, and, as they say, the rest is history (or in this case, the rest is my summer 2011). 

This was my first introduction to having responsibilities. I had to make sure the girls (my campers) were up and ready at a certain time each day. While we had time off, we were mostly on call throughout the summer. This was one of my favorite jobs till date, I can't lie. Not only was I able to tap into my creative side with the activities I put together for the girls, I also leaned into my mothering side, if you will. The girls were middle school age, and that of course comes with all the puberty feels. Given that this summer stint was more than 10 years ago, I only have faint memories from the experience, but I do remember leading some crafts (the cooking craft was my favorite, and I still utilize a green beans recipe from one of the cooking classes that I led). I also remember one of my campers' selflessness in assisting another camper when her food spilled (she literally dove to the ground and picked up all the spilled food. It brought me to tears, and she of course won the spirit award for that session). I remember allison crandall and my fairy camp counselor best friend (I wonder where she is today). I remember getting so dark. I remember the Chick-Fil-a Fridays. And lastly, I remember the chants. 

We had a competition to see which tribe could put on the best end of session musical chant. Ours was to the tune of Tangled's "When Will My Life Begin". While I don't remember the words to ours (we clearly didn't win), the ending to the winning chant is the title of this blog post (clear winner for a reason). 

Another chant that has stuck to me since I learned it from a devotion morning is "I am OK, because Christ rules the day". As elementary as this chant goes, it has given me a sense of calm throughout my adult life so far. It's amazing how the most seemingly inconsequential experiences actually stick to you and (sometimes) help you get through the consequential. 

At the time, I thought I was just there for the money and a good time (I barely took time off so when I returned to UGA in the fall of 2011, I was money bags Funmi, Funmi Fundssss), but who knew I'd gain something that money can't buy? 

Here's to the chants that stick with us and carry us through our days. 

Funmi Oke 

11th Hour Quality

 Today’s post is going to be a word-vomit style entry (as per I have much on my mind), but expect a beautiful photo at the end. 

Quality over Quantity.

This is has to be the phrase that underpinned my 2023. Much of my endeavors this year centered around this, from smallest of things to the biggest. I will proceed to give examples: 

Career: I focused less on numbers, i.e. how many filings I was able to churn out in a given period, and more on providing quality work to the few clients I took on in Q2 + Q3.  

Purchases: I identified items that sparked joy for me + invested in them/waited till a particular period to make the  “big purchase”. In other words, I’m aiming to fill my space and person with meaningful things and not just “things”. Every month this year, I made 3 or fewer purchases (sans essentials and my birthday month).

Relationships: my day-to-day this year was spent cutting out noise + focusing on few. While I am friendly, my personality does not require that I speak to more than one person a day. I have become more comfortable with this, and in as much as that number may or may not increase next year (we shall see about becoming more active on social media), this comfortability will remain a constant. Building quality friendships takes a while and I am willing to wait for/develop the few right friendships than to be a revolving door to many. 

Food: I take strong interest in cooking a variety foods, not just the typical nigerian plate or menu. 

Goals: honed in on two, as described here. 

These are just a few examples of many ways in my life that I prioritized quality over quantity this year.

Reading

I spent alot of time yesterday thinking about how much of my core memories of my childhood was made up of my penchant love for reading. I barely spoke, with core (read: repressed) memories also equally consisting of a strong shyness that at times had people wondering whether I was mute. Yesterday, I just wondered whether both traits lended neatly into one another, or was I just a victim of circumstances? Whatever the case is, I really wish I had someone tell me then that my strengths in reading and writing were equally as great forms of expression/consuming content as was speaking. In a way, I am going back to said lifestyle given that I take count of my words nowadays, but this time I am confident in it. 

Reading Quality

With only a few (read: 5) more weeks left in the year, I want to pull an 11th hour goal of getting through my reading list for the year (mostly from the summer). I really enjoyed reading then, and I want it to be a strong part of my lifestyle now, so why not?

Here’s the picture I promised from the Plaza at Preston Center, Dallas, TX. 

Funmi Oke

a happy ending.

 I recently spoke with a friend, critiquing a blog post of his that the ending was not too great. His retort was to point to ways in which it in fact does meet the objective standard of great (or at least, satisfactory). One of the ways was how the ending made me think, as that was the aim of his post. I of course could not but agree to this. 

Maybe his post is infact great because without that post that led to that conversation, I wouldn’t be thinking so much about the topic of today’s blog post: endings. 

I am averse to anything that ends in a haphazard and un-neat  (for lack of a better word) manner: books, movies, jobs, relationships. I have to leave the consumers table or the relationship knowing that all parties ended it the best way possible, leaving nothing unsaid. 

I guess the older I get, the more I have to be satisfied with haphazard endings. Today marks the first day of me ending something haphazardly simply because I’ve tried to go the neat route, leaving nothing unsaid before disengaging, yet somehow I find myself engaging again in a relationship that only serves me short term, and unfortunately I have to be honest that the dynamics of said short term satisfaction is now becoming stale. Im getting to a point where affection can’t fully materialize without seeing the other things I value come into play: stability, consistency, and admiration for who I am as a person. That admiration was most lacking, I must admit. For someone that takes pride in and values building ones self up and continuously growing, it really sucked to see myself doing things and not getting the interest and/or acknowledgment from someone that you thought cared. I pray I fully stand by my actions, because I need to. I need to walk away knowing I can do better. 

In a way, this ending, as haphazard as it is, is great. It’s going to make both parties think: for me, I will be thinking about moving forward + i’m sure for him ( after the “i think she blocked me? I dont know” reaction) he’ ll do the same.

Here’s to this happy ending. 

Funmi Oke

12....22....32

 A random scroll through twitter brought about this blogpost. There was a post where a lady duly noted that the marketing for the new Mean Girls movie puts things in perspective when it comes to age and time, emphasizing on how the new mean girls is "not like your mother's mean girls". The accuracy of this statement is a debate I'd rather not get into, but it did remind me of the three ages in my life that make up the title of this blog post.

When I was 12 (20 years ago, next year), this move came out, and the boy I liked (sigh, my first crush - heart eyes...or maybe second) copied that movie for me in the most boot leg manner onto a VHS, just so I could watch it. Shout out to you wherever you are, Justin Taylor. I think I gave him one of my parent's movies to copy it onto, so I feel like I got in a lot of trouble for that. That memory is a bit blurry. 

When I was 22 (10 years ago, next year), I was finishing university, watching all the YouTube influencers that were starting their careers, growing my natural hair, and preparing to start my Masters program in the United Kingdom. I also had a lot of depressive moments that year over the age I was turning and what felt like a lack of progression in my career aspirations (too much comparing and not enough enjoyment, killed the youthful exuberance here). Oh, and I had a couple of blog posts under my belt on this blog :) 

 

I'll be turning 32 next year, by the grace of God, and it is really interesting and amazing to see all that I have accomplished in the past 10 years. Not even just career wise, but I think I have made so much progress in "the battle of the mind" if you will - I try as much as possible to put things into perspective nowadays, grounding myself, and controlling my content (12 and 22 y/o Funmi, you all would be astonished by the content-driven society that we live in now). 

These are really interesting markers in my life to point out, simply because the year prior to each marker was quite fantastic/seminal (or just the span of both years put together. Should I list them out? OK I should/would: 2003/2004 went UK for the first time, and Naij 2013/2014 did an internship with the U.S. Embassy Berlin graduated from the University of Georgia went UK for Masters 2023/2024 move to Dallas, TX work at top law firm oke legal group.....other things loading? 

the story continues.....

The only time you should look back, is to see how far you've come. 

Funmi Oke

Let the British Breathe

 I've been consuming a lot of British content lately, including the new Beckham documentary, John Lennon's catalogue, the Pet Shop Boys catalouge, and news clips from the BBC, amongst many other things. I also recently discovered keinemusik (they are German, but foreign nonetheless). 

I honestly don't know what the point of sharing what was, but all the same, cheers to that era. I have also been indulging in scents, both for my home and body. I really am enjoying the concept of slow and steady. Slowly and steadily adopting better holistic habits, among other things. A pe ko to jeun, ko le je 'baje. 

What else? (I am thinking as I am typing)... I also need to work on my digital jobs blog (to be tagged here once I eventually do it, what will be a segue into planning for the digital agency I am starting up with a good friend of mine. 

Looking forward to this weekend in Atlanta with family, and the walk I am participating in my firm on Saturday.

p.s. - X (fka Twitter) read it first but I make the best charcuterie boards. 

Till next time, 

funmi oke 

That's How the Cookie Crumbles.

For the fall season, and for the first time in many years, I am fully engaging in many 'fall traditions', not limited to warming wax fragrances, scented candles, baking cookies, consuming apple baked goods, going to the State Fair, and indulging in lots and lots of apple cider. 

If those are the signs of finally being settled, then I guess you can say I'm settled. I have to make an effort to take note of these things, given my tendencies to downplay my progress and/or just move on to the next goal. This is my first time just enjoying an accomplished goal (in this case, buying a home), and I am making full effort to do just that. 

I have also been indulging in nostalgic Yoruba movies, like 'Ori'. I really can't believe a 2004 movie is now 'old' - or maybe I can. It is the 2014 movies being considered old that I cannot get over. Time is going, and we must keep moving along with it. A beautiful reminder to desist from things that don't matter and focus ferociously on the things that do. I wrote a blog post on this a while back. Time waits for no one, nor do the cookies that eventually crumble (this phrase has no substance nor relation to my post, I just wanted to include this in the blog post). 

xo F.O.

Solid Girl.

It's been a while. I haven't been consistent because I am trying to steer away from doing things in a disciplined manner "just because" but instead doing it because I want to. I guess I am trying to find that sweet spot in between. Life has also been life'ing I can't lie (read: I have cried more times in the past month than I would want to admit). All the same, see below for a post from August 9, and here's to better days to come. & if they don't come, here's to pushing through and making the best of it. 

Here to report another productive week. I created proofs for my legal services website and submitted to my web designer, completed 2 books on my reading list, completed more CLE credits for my bar admission renewal, wrote my first International Relations blog post, made wellness appointments, studied some topics within Immigration Law, and worked out consistently. 

I officially have the same 24 hours as Beyonce. 

I also think about what it means to show up for yourself, and I love that I am realizing this for myself now. 

I am as solid as they come (for myself), and I love that for me.

-xo, f.o. 

this week.

written on 08/04.

It's that time of the month, so we are just maintaining. 

Despite such, I successfully stretched and/or worked out each day, drank 1 gallon of water each day, updated my self-titled website, and finished a book from my reading list for the summer. 

another productive week in the books 

Here's a quote from Bill Gates that I heard from one of his speaking engagements earlier in the summer. It has been a great source of motivation for me when it comes to engaging/deep diving into my areas of interests this quarter: 

"Whatever you're good at and you love doing, educate yourself deeply and make a contribution in that space and the path to impact would reveal itself."

                                                                - Bill Gates 

xo, f.o. 

Joy Sparkers 
the firm's women's group lunch on Wednesday had thai food!
my new record player + getting outkast's first record 

The Great Week.

It's the last full week in July. 

I joined the gym, my self-titled website is live, solidified my travel plans for the winter season, volunteered at my local legal clinic, thoroughly cleaned my house (pending), got signed retainers for two clients in my immigration law practice, finished 2 books on my summer reading list (pending), and handled a few admin tasks (taxes, bar admission renewal). 

productivity on colos. 

The sweetest aspect of this week though is not the above-mentioned engagements. 

I'd rather give an astounding applause to the artists that dropped new music this week:

Jae 5 x BNXN

Kizz Daniel 

Adekunle Gold 

Burna Boy 

Happy weekend, friends. 

xo, f.o. 

Interesting Articles I've Read.

i am keeping track of the interesting articles i've read. link here. 

xo, f.o. 

Burna’s Boy.

 This will be a recap on my weekend (read: week, thanks to the dallas heat im running away from) in new york city.

I attended Burna Boy’s show at Citi Field. This was my first “Love, Damini” show (I was forced to sit last years out due to the bar exam and I missed this year's Dallas show due to substance chocolate), and it did not disappoint. It was even better given the crowd (read: my section was lit). This wasn’t my most memorable trip to the city though, and it really got me realizing that no matter how much I try to deny it or do things to show otherwise, I really am getting older. 

My responsibilities that precluded my ability to fully “vibe out” on this trip (read: ride a bike on a whim through a park, just sit and watch people in said park, get lost in the city, be aimless and do aimless things) reminded me of this.

My friends also not having said time reminded me of this. 

Said limited time along with my overestimating how much energy I would have after a work day also served as a painful reminder. 

All of this was compounded by my general lack of interest in engaging in said exploration, given my current focus on work. I hate to admit this, especially given how I am not the “career woman” type, but I have also learned that multitasking multiple big tasks (i.e. - traveling and working) is not the most effective nor productive use of time, especially with the start of a new job. I am thus putting myself on a travel hiatus, pausing all non-essential travel till December. It’s a sacrifice I have to make to really be present at my job, and at this point, it’s a sacrifice worth making (read: im about to be bored af, but iiwii).

The next few points I have to make are just general observations from the last week/ during my trip:

1.) I'm getting finer. maybe to do with not being in Dallas weather or to do with my previous cleanse but enjoying it nonetheless.

2.)  I literally cannot operate outside of God’s guidance. I pray I consistently seek this in all my engagements. This past week has taught me the importance of this.

3.) I officially ended things with someone that felt special at a point in time. It hurts now, but I'll laugh later. 

4.) Taking things one day at a time is a blessing. 

xo f.o.

Maame’s flatmates

 Here’s a review of the first fiction book I finished for the summer, Maame x Jessica George + other stories: 

(n.B/ please don’t expect a review from every book I finish. As the spirit leads.)

‘Maame’ was a nice read. The protagonist really dealt with both internal and external struggles, all leading up to the passing of her father. My only criticism is the seemingly random insert of Maame inheriting 50,000 p’s from her dad at the very end. I wish the author would let her remain “normal”, and not necessarily have her come into wealth. I get why though (to show that all her hard work was not all for nothing, and equally, that her mother and brother’s nonchalance yielded consequence). I nevertheless would have wanted the focus of the protagonist’s growth to be purely emotional. 

That aside, one of her encounters with her flatmates got me thinking about my own prior experiences with flatmates. My most memorable flatmate was my Spanish flatmate from Catalonia, whom I shared a flat with while studying in the UK. Upon entering the new year, 2015, she told me a new year's tradition from her culture was to put as much grapes in your mouth. I will share its significance below (once I research it because I forgot). I will never forget her nor those moments. We ran along the Birmingham canal together, ate together, went shopping together, and most importantly, laughed together. Here’s to people that I’ll probably never forget - because of their kindness & the memories shared.

xo tito

Do Great Things.

 

I read the bio of one of our client's president & it just reminded me (inspired me) to do great things. 

 In order to do great things, you have to sweat the small stuff (& discard the non-important ones). 

Sweat the small stuff meaning, be excellent at all tasks asked of me at work, no matter how "mundane". Spend at least an hour daily engaging in research and thought catalogues within my practice area. 

Get outside of my comfort zone in networking. 

Discard the non-important ones meaning, anything trivial and unimportant should be a non-factor to my daily routine.

Logic over emotions. 

 Thanks for the reminder, Jeremy. 

xo tito. 

Summer reads.

Sorry for the interruption. I've been on a cleanse that has kept me away from anything internet related. 

I wanted to go ahead and compile my summer reading list.  This list is a combination of books that have been recommended, have piqued my interest, or are related to my career growth/development. I look forward to taking a deep dive and share my thoughts on them by the last day of summer (September 23, 2023). They range from non-fiction to fiction, as the eclectic babe that I am. 

2023 Summer Reading List 

Fiction 

Maame - Jessica George 

Breakfast of Champions - Kurt Vonnegut

Catch-22 - Joseph Heller 

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

His Only Wife - Peace Adzo Medie 

Non Fiction 

My Watch - Olusegun Obasanjo 

Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler 

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up - Marie Kondo 

Homo Deus - Yuval Noah Harare 

For Women and the Nation: Funmilayo Ransome Kuti of Nigeria - Cheryl Johnson-Odim and Nina Emma Mba  

5 +5 is a great kickstart.

If I am able to pick up more, even better. Please recommend some books in the comments section. 

Compiling this list reminds me of some aspects of my childhood. Memories of going to the library and going section (or stall) by section (stall?) looking for great books to escape into. The art of reading was a gift passed on to me by my parents, and I intend to pass that on to my own children. 

Here's to getting back to my first love and discovering new worlds along the way. 

xo tito 

p.s. - putting this down here to clear my thoughts on this (and no one really gets to the bottom, do they?): after having gone on one date in the past weekend and cancelled two, it is safe to say that I'm not the babe that relishes in the male gaze (I knew this, maybe I just didn't want to come to terms with it). I am very much a "if the opportunity arises to date or meet someone that I find interesting - maybe from presentation, their achievements, or (admittedly, superficially speaking), their looks, I don't mind going for it" type of lady. Definitely not someone that goes on dates or meets people just for the sake of it or to pass time.  If it didn't dey, it didn't dey, as they say. 

It's all for the best though, as I continue to learn to manage by time more efficiently, doing what works for me. Here's to self development, self learning, and improvement. 

Karma

 If i could be the song karma x seyi vibez, i would. 

Happy Saturday. 

xo tito

Joy Sparkers

———

Karma x Seyi Vibez

Friday.

 We go again next week, cheers to the weekend. I am really trying to learn the art of selfishly living in the moment, taking what is in front of me for what it is and making the most of it. Sure, the future is shaped by what we do now. In the same vein, I am confident that a cheeky night out with the girls won't hurt said future goals. 

So I am grateful for all that this week has brought to me and I am looking forward to yet another fruitful week and an even more productive weekend. 

joy sparkers 

---------------

-spoke to my friend Teju today.

-Boy Alone album x Omah Lay: listening to this album (not the deluxe, as I am not a fan) brings back memories of last summer. Great memories. I thrived alone, silently, just tackling my goals, step by step. That memory alone reminds me that I am good, always. 

Big up Tolu for bringing new immigration clients my way :) 

Domain

 

Today’s post is short and sweet. 

I had a sweet Orlando Owoh + work session this afternoon. 

If I could be the track ‘Logba Logba’, I would. The composition, the lyricism, the instruments. I literally am taken to another element while listening to this work of art. 

xo tito

joy sparkers

——————

-tennis lessons

- the attorney wide lunch (a colleague knows my name)

- purchased the domain name www.funmioke.com

Proud.

 “For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.”

                     -F. Scott Fitzgerald

I don't really have much to discuss today. I will be thinking about the above quote and what that looks like for me in my day-to-day activities (applying my summer goals against this list will be a great start)

happy first day of summer. 

xo tito 

things that spark joy today

- having dinner with a colleague  tonight at a spot I have been wanting to try, Kimodo Dallas. 

- happy birthday, dad. 

Summer games.

Back to work today, so the day felt administrative at best. Literally got nothing else but work done.

as promised though, I will share how making friends, socializing, and dating has been so far in Dallas.

Since I’m 30+ , I am done with experimenting with company I keep. I’ve therefore approached the scene with intention, knowing exactly what I am looking for in comraderie and companionship. So, in quality over quantity terms (and also because I spend a lot of my time sorting out house things), I’ve really been taking the Dallas social scene in stride. 

I am looking forward to a meet up that my sister-in-law told me about happening Saturday. It’s funny because I only recently started praying to get more involved in the Dallas community (don’t even get me started on the thing I signed up for at my job earlier today). A constant reminder that God is listening to me even when I don’t feel like He is.

(also big up the texas friends I’ve kept in touch with prior to this move, our reconnecting has been bliss) 

The only full stop thing I’ll say about dating is, I doubt i’ll ever subscribe myself to the “play hard to get” handbook, because my job and ongoing life projects are already demanding as it is, so why put myself (or other person) through ridiculous hurdles? 

I look forward to meeting someone that feels the same way, no games attached, and sees the bigger picture instead. & to those that say “well people dont value things they don't work for” … the thought of the person losing me should be enough to keep them on their toes, no matter what. if it  isnt enough, it wasnt meant to be.

Partnership over playing games, always. 

xo tito

Things that sparked joy today

- I took a walk at Cole Park today and walked into a community of tennis players (Cole Park Tennis). Once I improve my skills, ill look into playing with them.

- the drive from my house to Cole Park. Driving across a landscape really helps me clear my thoughts

Summer goals.

 Today felt relaxing. 

I had two dates - one, a friend date in the morning, and the other,  a date date. 

I guess tomorrow’s content can be about how socializing/dating in Dallas, Texas has been, now being about 6 months in.

Anyway, as promised, here are my summer goals:

1. read 10 books [5 fiction + 5 non-fiction]

2. Listen to the german podcast at least twice a week

3. Tennis lessons

4. Grow my hair by consistently routining

5. Capture 12 photos on polaroid

6. Engage in international trade/immigration law 

7. Clean home + set it up

8. Clean eating: drink water daily, scream

9. build my digital brand 

10. Break from social media binging.

Essentially, this summer I want to cut out noise and get back to my core. I will definitely make them measurable in another space, but I wanted to just list them out here. 

Here’s to enjoying and taking time out to do things I enjoy, and being more intentional with my time :)

xo tito

Distant admirations + things that sparked joy:

- the friend date from this morning & learning that there is was a ladies only gym that was popular in nyc at a point in time

- who told you x jhus x drake

- introduction x asake

Spark.

Today begins my 30 day blogging/journaling challenge. Today was a bit uneventful. It's Father's Day (the only parental celebratory date that every country *that I have ties to* agreed on....Mother's day cannot relate at all). 

I have decided on my summer goals (which is fodder for tomorrow's entry, stay tuned). 

 Also, I had a nostalgic ride back home from HTX this morning. Burna Boy's 'L. I. F. E' was at the center of such nostalgia. Even dabbled into some tunes from his tape prior to this debut album. That year in uni, 10+ years ago in my red VW Beetle my june bug . Just jamming to said tunes. Those years, those feels! 

 Even with L.I.F.E, I knew exactly where I was 10 years ago when the album dropped. I even made an instagram post about 'Don't Run' because of how relatable that track was to me at the time. At 21, I felt like I was still trying to figure out where I fully belong (long and short) and the track talked about staying put despite what happened. 

Anyway, fast forward 10 years later, I fully understand the message behind the track a bit more now. Just don't lose yourself, period. Thanks, Damini. 

 Things that sparked joy today: 

 - the nostalgic album listen + 2017 odunsi

 - finished my first summer read 

- took a walk in my neighborhood + met a neighbor (hi, ms lola apparently she had a Haitian neighbor named funmi who taught her how to steam fish. cool) 

- no one has taken my name url www.funmioke.com 

 xo tito

The Lying Wikipedia Page.

OK, I lied. For posterity sake, to revive the wordsmith in me, and to re-ignite my interest in writing, I shall continue this blog. I was asked earlier last month "What will you add to your Wikipedia page this year?", almost as a way to think inwardly about what consequential, life-changing thing I will accomplish this year. I couldn't give an answer to that question. I also didn't feel compelled to give an answer (kudos to giving myself grace) for many reasons.' Forone, I believe that there are years that asks questions, and there are years that provide answers. Which leads neatly to the second reason. Two, everyone knows that every year will not be seminal on paper. Every "great" person's entry on Wikipedia doesn't have a yearly accomplishment listed. So for me, passing the bar exam last year, joining the best law firm in the world, and concurrently opening up my own practice is enough copy for my Wikipedia entry for the next two or so years (quality over quantity, baby). Despite not having an answer, I did feel compelled to list out a few projects I plan to continue this year to essentially create that copy for the years that said endeavors would bloom (e.g. "in 2025 xyz project garnered close to 1 million subscribers" as said accomplishment). For now, given that I am still in my transition/settling in phase, I think two projects are enough to take on in the coming weeks and months. Project #1: "the Immigration Esquire" - I started this Instagram page in 2021 to encourage my network to be more informed about immigration law and policy, not just in their home country, but around the world. The plan now is to move this blog, if you will, past the social media platform. I will create an actual blog anchor that will provide more in-depth content, which will also be distributed across all social media platforms. I will also include a component that provides resources for the younger generation to get more interested in immigration law (paying it forward) - which will also provide scholarship opportunities for undergraduate students interested in immigration law. This is really exciting. Project #2: It is not as fleshed out yet, but I want to consolidate my name brand. more on this later. I look forward to seeing these projects to its fruition. Although I may not have a wikipedia accomplishment this year, I am laying the groundwork for the years that will provide those answers. -Funmi

Adieu.

Thanks to a friend, I revisited this blog today. I am happy to see how far I've come since then, and am so grateful for the growth. Thanks to this blog for allowing me to express my thoughts at a time where I felt I didn't have a voice. That litle girl would be proud of the stellar babe I have become today. Thanks for the memories & Adieu. -tito.