a happy ending.

 I recently spoke with a friend, critiquing a blog post of his that the ending was not too great. His retort was to point to ways in which it in fact does meet the objective standard of great (or at least, satisfactory). One of the ways was how the ending made me think, as that was the aim of his post. I of course could not but agree to this. 

Maybe his post is infact great because without that post that led to that conversation, I wouldn’t be thinking so much about the topic of today’s blog post: endings. 

I am averse to anything that ends in a haphazard and un-neat  (for lack of a better word) manner: books, movies, jobs, relationships. I have to leave the consumers table or the relationship knowing that all parties ended it the best way possible, leaving nothing unsaid. 

I guess the older I get, the more I have to be satisfied with haphazard endings. Today marks the first day of me ending something haphazardly simply because I’ve tried to go the neat route, leaving nothing unsaid before disengaging, yet somehow I find myself engaging again in a relationship that only serves me short term, and unfortunately I have to be honest that the dynamics of said short term satisfaction is now becoming stale. Im getting to a point where affection can’t fully materialize without seeing the other things I value come into play: stability, consistency, and admiration for who I am as a person. That admiration was most lacking, I must admit. For someone that takes pride in and values building ones self up and continuously growing, it really sucked to see myself doing things and not getting the interest and/or acknowledgment from someone that you thought cared. I pray I fully stand by my actions, because I need to. I need to walk away knowing I can do better. 

In a way, this ending, as haphazard as it is, is great. It’s going to make both parties think: for me, I will be thinking about moving forward + i’m sure for him ( after the “i think she blocked me? I dont know” reaction) he’ ll do the same.

Here’s to this happy ending. 

Funmi Oke