a happy ending.

 I recently spoke with a friend, critiquing a blog post of his that the ending was not too great. His retort was to point to ways in which it in fact does meet the objective standard of great (or at least, satisfactory). One of the ways was how the ending made me think, as that was the aim of his post. I of course could not but agree to this. 

Maybe his post is infact great because without that post that led to that conversation, I wouldn’t be thinking so much about the topic of today’s blog post: endings. 

I am averse to anything that ends in a haphazard and un-neat  (for lack of a better word) manner: books, movies, jobs, relationships. I have to leave the consumers table or the relationship knowing that all parties ended it the best way possible, leaving nothing unsaid. 

I guess the older I get, the more I have to be satisfied with haphazard endings. Today marks the first day of me ending something haphazardly simply because I’ve tried to go the neat route, leaving nothing unsaid before disengaging, yet somehow I find myself engaging again in a relationship that only serves me short term, and unfortunately I have to be honest that the dynamics of said short term satisfaction is now becoming stale. Im getting to a point where affection can’t fully materialize without seeing the other things I value come into play: stability, consistency, and admiration for who I am as a person. That admiration was most lacking, I must admit. For someone that takes pride in and values building ones self up and continuously growing, it really sucked to see myself doing things and not getting the interest and/or acknowledgment from someone that you thought cared. I pray I fully stand by my actions, because I need to. I need to walk away knowing I can do better. 

In a way, this ending, as haphazard as it is, is great. It’s going to make both parties think: for me, I will be thinking about moving forward + i’m sure for him ( after the “i think she blocked me? I dont know” reaction) he’ ll do the same.

Here’s to this happy ending. 

Funmi Oke

12....22....32

 A random scroll through twitter brought about this blogpost. There was a post where a lady duly noted that the marketing for the new Mean Girls movie puts things in perspective when it comes to age and time, emphasizing on how the new mean girls is "not like your mother's mean girls". The accuracy of this statement is a debate I'd rather not get into, but it did remind me of the three ages in my life that make up the title of this blog post.

When I was 12 (20 years ago, next year), this move came out, and the boy I liked (sigh, my first crush - heart eyes...or maybe second) copied that movie for me in the most boot leg manner onto a VHS, just so I could watch it. Shout out to you wherever you are, Justin Taylor. I think I gave him one of my parent's movies to copy it onto, so I feel like I got in a lot of trouble for that. That memory is a bit blurry. 

When I was 22 (10 years ago, next year), I was finishing university, watching all the YouTube influencers that were starting their careers, growing my natural hair, and preparing to start my Masters program in the United Kingdom. I also had a lot of depressive moments that year over the age I was turning and what felt like a lack of progression in my career aspirations (too much comparing and not enough enjoyment, killed the youthful exuberance here). Oh, and I had a couple of blog posts under my belt on this blog :) 

 

I'll be turning 32 next year, by the grace of God, and it is really interesting and amazing to see all that I have accomplished in the past 10 years. Not even just career wise, but I think I have made so much progress in "the battle of the mind" if you will - I try as much as possible to put things into perspective nowadays, grounding myself, and controlling my content (12 and 22 y/o Funmi, you all would be astonished by the content-driven society that we live in now). 

These are really interesting markers in my life to point out, simply because the year prior to each marker was quite fantastic/seminal (or just the span of both years put together. Should I list them out? OK I should/would: 2003/2004 went UK for the first time, and Naij 2013/2014 did an internship with the U.S. Embassy Berlin graduated from the University of Georgia went UK for Masters 2023/2024 move to Dallas, TX work at top law firm oke legal group.....other things loading? 

the story continues.....

The only time you should look back, is to see how far you've come. 

Funmi Oke

Let the British Breathe

 I've been consuming a lot of British content lately, including the new Beckham documentary, John Lennon's catalogue, the Pet Shop Boys catalouge, and news clips from the BBC, amongst many other things. I also recently discovered keinemusik (they are German, but foreign nonetheless). 

I honestly don't know what the point of sharing what was, but all the same, cheers to that era. I have also been indulging in scents, both for my home and body. I really am enjoying the concept of slow and steady. Slowly and steadily adopting better holistic habits, among other things. A pe ko to jeun, ko le je 'baje. 

What else? (I am thinking as I am typing)... I also need to work on my digital jobs blog (to be tagged here once I eventually do it, what will be a segue into planning for the digital agency I am starting up with a good friend of mine. 

Looking forward to this weekend in Atlanta with family, and the walk I am participating in my firm on Saturday.

p.s. - X (fka Twitter) read it first but I make the best charcuterie boards. 

Till next time, 

funmi oke 

That's How the Cookie Crumbles.

For the fall season, and for the first time in many years, I am fully engaging in many 'fall traditions', not limited to warming wax fragrances, scented candles, baking cookies, consuming apple baked goods, going to the State Fair, and indulging in lots and lots of apple cider. 

If those are the signs of finally being settled, then I guess you can say I'm settled. I have to make an effort to take note of these things, given my tendencies to downplay my progress and/or just move on to the next goal. This is my first time just enjoying an accomplished goal (in this case, buying a home), and I am making full effort to do just that. 

I have also been indulging in nostalgic Yoruba movies, like 'Ori'. I really can't believe a 2004 movie is now 'old' - or maybe I can. It is the 2014 movies being considered old that I cannot get over. Time is going, and we must keep moving along with it. A beautiful reminder to desist from things that don't matter and focus ferociously on the things that do. I wrote a blog post on this a while back. Time waits for no one, nor do the cookies that eventually crumble (this phrase has no substance nor relation to my post, I just wanted to include this in the blog post). 

xo F.O.

Solid Girl.

It's been a while. I haven't been consistent because I am trying to steer away from doing things in a disciplined manner "just because" but instead doing it because I want to. I guess I am trying to find that sweet spot in between. Life has also been life'ing I can't lie (read: I have cried more times in the past month than I would want to admit). All the same, see below for a post from August 9, and here's to better days to come. & if they don't come, here's to pushing through and making the best of it. 

Here to report another productive week. I created proofs for my legal services website and submitted to my web designer, completed 2 books on my reading list, completed more CLE credits for my bar admission renewal, wrote my first International Relations blog post, made wellness appointments, studied some topics within Immigration Law, and worked out consistently. 

I officially have the same 24 hours as Beyonce. 

I also think about what it means to show up for yourself, and I love that I am realizing this for myself now. 

I am as solid as they come (for myself), and I love that for me.

-xo, f.o. 

this week.

written on 08/04.

It's that time of the month, so we are just maintaining. 

Despite such, I successfully stretched and/or worked out each day, drank 1 gallon of water each day, updated my self-titled website, and finished a book from my reading list for the summer. 

another productive week in the books 

Here's a quote from Bill Gates that I heard from one of his speaking engagements earlier in the summer. It has been a great source of motivation for me when it comes to engaging/deep diving into my areas of interests this quarter: 

"Whatever you're good at and you love doing, educate yourself deeply and make a contribution in that space and the path to impact would reveal itself."

                                                                - Bill Gates 

xo, f.o. 

Joy Sparkers 
the firm's women's group lunch on Wednesday had thai food!
my new record player + getting outkast's first record 

The Great Week.

It's the last full week in July. 

I joined the gym, my self-titled website is live, solidified my travel plans for the winter season, volunteered at my local legal clinic, thoroughly cleaned my house (pending), got signed retainers for two clients in my immigration law practice, finished 2 books on my summer reading list (pending), and handled a few admin tasks (taxes, bar admission renewal). 

productivity on colos. 

The sweetest aspect of this week though is not the above-mentioned engagements. 

I'd rather give an astounding applause to the artists that dropped new music this week:

Jae 5 x BNXN

Kizz Daniel 

Adekunle Gold 

Burna Boy 

Happy weekend, friends. 

xo, f.o.