Escape and Rescue Plan.
In my head, I am screaming, "get me out of here!" simply because I have now identified my interests, and so want to pursue it vigourously. Unfortunately, becoming fluent in German is not one of them. In as much as I find the language intriguing & have set eventual fluency as an indelible challenge for myself, I am equally reminded of how limited our time is and how it should not be spent engaging in a non-interest that is not guaranteed to yield profitability (It would be different if someone were paying me to learn this language, or eventual fluency would pay off....neither of that serves as the foundational Basis of my studies here in OFvBU, so I will obviously see you [haha], later)
So, to be honest, I want to go home. In fact, need to go home and stop trying to reach things that are beyond my grasp. I need to be real with myelf, and work within my capabilities. It is very true that the sky is the limit, but what am I doing with the grass, trees, flowers that are already within my reach?
It is about time that I start thinking with my head and not my heart. Or maybe this longing to return home is thinking with my heart. My heart wants to return to stability, sanity, (eventual) security. I have gained all that I wanted to gain in my alloted year abroad, and I know it will propel me to greater endeavours in the future. I just need to return to homebase and work from there, repaying my dues along the way (literally).
Olu
Fun.
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