Tonight was awesome. I just returned from a praise night that I attended with a few friends. It was lovely.
God specifically spoke to me through the song: "I am no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God".
What scares you, controls you. But it is so freeing to realise, to understand our identity in Christ.
I am praying that this truth constantly remains a part of me, as I need it now more than ever before.
Since I have not much more to say, I found an old blogpost from the summer (24th of May to be exact). I saved it to my USB, and I guess I intended to eventually post it, but I never did. & when I reread it earlier today, I saw that it was good!
So here goes! Enjoy and till later:
24/5
The Walking Communist Pitch
So, this lovely and relaxing Sunday started
out a bit rough internally, being that I had to make and stand firm in my
decision to not attend ‘Church’, as is the alternative/ nickname for the church
that I have attended from childhood. I understand that such a decision may have
been a bit disappointing for my mother, but I am starting to realise that it is
important to SECOND never disappoint you (God being first) and then to discern
when to consider the disappointment of others (even those times when it comes
at the expense of you disappointing yourself – I do not deny the fact that
sometimes it is worth it). There are
quite a few reasons that lend to my decision to not attend ‘Church’ today, and
for the sake of brevity I shall hesitate to list. In any case, I am quite urged
or compelled to attend any church though next Sunday, so I shall actively
figure out how I will make my way to a church next week.
While running this morning, I briefly conversed
with a cul-de-sac mate/family about my life, and informing them that I was in
the UK studying made me a bit proud of myself relatively speaking (discussing
casually with moms about my amassing of loans later in the evening while
walking countered such feelings, so it was very short-lived).
After the run, I returned into the abode
and had the usual – oatmeal and 3 eggs, while once again being in awe of my
slow transition into a more simplistic and basic lifestyle, embracing it as
such as well. I think I need to stop that
though – will develop this train of thought later. In short, I tend to do this
thing where I think about what I am doing & the positive reactions that my
actions could possibly generate (EXAMPLE this simple eating, thinking about the
way I could package such on Instagram, touting and packaging my “new” lifestyle
personality)
Surprisingly enough, moms returned home
even before I completed my first meal, breakfast (to be fair, I had spent a bit of time
applying my Moroccan clay and adzuki bean powder mask onto my face, I shall
hold any comments on the results to myself…sigh).
Moving swiftly along, the meat of my day
consisted of attempting to clean my room while “in my feelings” as it were,
trying to shift into better spirits. The main gist of my encouragement is this:
“What’s meant to be will never be difficult. It will be smooth sailing. Simple.
Clear-cut. Unvarnished. Love is.”
It is still a bit disheartening ‘recovering’ from this ‘mishap’
especially given my not-too successful track record with men/boys.
Love/relationships/friendship should never be this difficult.. Wilkommen zur
meiner Welt. One day you are going to win. Repeat. One would think that cupid would take it a bit easy on me given
the fact that I spent my childhood witnessing and being affected by loveless
shaky relationships; but alas no.
So, as I unfortunately did let that deter
me from organising/ cleaning my room [hence the current slow burn of that all
too familiar midnight oil], I still did manage to gain a few “knowledge-bits”
out of today through the medium of YouTube videos, WhatsApp, and moms:
1.
Bride Price – the Ibo, one of
the ethnic groups based in Nigeria take that seriously. It is still a practiced
tradition, which I thought was just for sentiments at celebrations –Yoruba Wado!-
in this time period (Of course this may be true in the developed world
diaspora, yet it is still a tradition for this particular ethnic group in
Nigeria, and I doubt it will ever be phased out. No one is being harmed in the
process knock on wood). Literally,
‘bride price’ is used for bants on various social media outlets, and phrases
that include this compound word , etc. So it was quite the surprise to watch a
video of a traditional wedding which included footage of fathers from both
sides conferring together to discuss negotiate the bride price.
Literally cynically speaking, how much the brides father will charge for the
bride and how much the groom/groom’s family is willing to pay. To make matters
more interesting, in another scence the new bride in the video said “I am in my
husbands place now since the bride price has been paid”….Obviously she does not
mean it in this way, but for both a pseudo-progressive like myself and those
editors at Cosmo (that wrote the article deriding the bride price app), such a
statement literally single-handedly negates any progress that has been made on
the advancement of women’s rights. Of course I am being a bit extreme. Of
course I do realise that women rights as with almost every human rights
ideaology/themes are a western construct and its place in any other setting is
constantly questioned (My life is a big disclaimer by the way, in case you
didn’t realise by the way this post is already saturated with disclaimers).
People try it – they really do. Ask Ethiopia, oh wait, you can’t –Any way, my
mom also contributed to this topic: She informed me that sometimes some grooms families
pay the brides family money every year, until the father of the bride dies. I am
not sure how true this is, but quite interesting. My full thoughts to come
later, as this subject is deserving of it’s own entry; dissertation in fact.
Simply because women are quite amazing- all feminist sentiments put aside- yet
their value is constantly being tried inadvertently, and sometimes because of
our own decisions.
2.
Ethiopia is going to the polls,
the current ruling party is expected to win while the fractured opposition
party does not even stand a chance. I literally can state this narrative with
my eyes closed, and apply it to other African countries – Burundi case in
point, no shoutout to the tragic and punitive incident . Shame.
3.
Nigeria. Prayer’s are going up.
Once I do more research on the current situation, I will definitely provide a
more intellectually-backed, informed opinion, but for now: Jonathan is running
the reserves dry because come May 29th money don finish. (sometimes, this may actually
be the case. The simple, watered down layman’s opinion. )
4.
May have found a good
finishing/setting spray & daily vitamin c dosage for the face thanks to the
lovely YouTuber Bella (BrownieandtheBlog). Her makeup and sartorial choices are
both equally amazing, so I definitely look forward to getting my hands (in this
case, face) on both the Vitamin C face spritz x Body Shop and the Makeup
Revolution Setting Spray.
5.
The Turtleneck is a staple for
any closet. It’s such a clean and simple (and affordable) essential that
literally make’s an outfit what it is (of course when combined with the right
pieces), so I look forward to investing in a few good ones (on sale) in
anticipation of the fall/winter.
6.
Bonus (This one is actually
from my annals, circa 6th grade or middle school, tops) : Cuba! I
have a bound notecards full of a research project done on Cuba’s government
(regime change, to the world, and all), and it was quite informative. I really
did a thorough job, comprehensively compiling an easy to follow timeline of
events that I was able to pick up even today, read, and understand (of course
aside from trying to decipher a few handwriting encumbrances that is). As far
away in history as it is for me, it is really impacting my sense of self and my
perception of my capabilities. Positively. Crazy right? Crazy cool.
Aside from the knowledge bits, I also gave
my moms the ‘business pitch’ while walking with her today. & I am literally
surprised as to how easy it was for my to pitch it to her. Literally, I thank
God. Almost there. Almost there.
Focus.
Water is good for the soul, if you have
goals.
Bonus number 2 (You would be so lucky):
While listening to ‘Laye’ x Kiss Daniel – Ko si
ru e l’ede baby say ko ko jo oo (His name is so lovely, I say this
time and again), I saw in the sidebar a link to a post about Fetty Wap (in fact, let me cue his song while I write
this) and the post basically talked about how he would be featuring Afrobeats
artists, Davido et. al. on an ‘afroremix’ to Trap Queen. My first thought was,
‘who is fetty wap’ and what is ‘trap queen’. Quite curious about the song
especially, I clicked the link to the YouTube video & it was the song I
heard at the wedding last weekend- a part of the African-American American hip-hop/rap mashup set pent up with the
likes of ‘Coco’ and ….. uuh I forgot. the song stood out anyway, but it didn’t
stand out when I first heard it. Meaning it was unique enough for me to
remember that I heard it, yet when I heard it I dismissed it as another one of
those teen hip go-lucky songs that came out while I was away, unperturbed by
the fact that I was not hip to it.
Even more interesting sturvs to note:
-
The song came out in August.
Yay, conversation starter in ‘what’s different about being away/blah blah’
conversations: “Oh you know that song trap queen, I am just now hearing it,….” laugh
laugh laugh
-
Fetty Wap reminds me of a
particular somebody in Birmingham, UK. David! Cool dude.
-
Another lesson in believing in
yourself no matter how different you may be, or in this case, look. Thanks for
the reminder, Fetty.
And to all a good night.
Oh how could I forget! Still on the subject
of Fetty Wap:
-
He mentioned ‘Bando’ in his
song. He’s from New Jersey. New Jersey Riots ’67.
OK it’s 4:57 am. I am tired. & I still
did not touch my room project, from the time I left it. Well did wash my makeup brushes!
Thank you Jesus.
I love you.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light
for my path
-
Psalm 119:105
Funmi
