Spark.

Today begins my 30 day blogging/journaling challenge. Today was a bit uneventful. It's Father's Day (the only parental celebratory date that every country *that I have ties to* agreed on....Mother's day cannot relate at all). 

I have decided on my summer goals (which is fodder for tomorrow's entry, stay tuned). 

 Also, I had a nostalgic ride back home from HTX this morning. Burna Boy's 'L. I. F. E' was at the center of such nostalgia. Even dabbled into some tunes from his tape prior to this debut album. That year in uni, 10+ years ago in my red VW Beetle my june bug . Just jamming to said tunes. Those years, those feels! 

 Even with L.I.F.E, I knew exactly where I was 10 years ago when the album dropped. I even made an instagram post about 'Don't Run' because of how relatable that track was to me at the time. At 21, I felt like I was still trying to figure out where I fully belong (long and short) and the track talked about staying put despite what happened. 

Anyway, fast forward 10 years later, I fully understand the message behind the track a bit more now. Just don't lose yourself, period. Thanks, Damini. 

 Things that sparked joy today: 

 - the nostalgic album listen + 2017 odunsi

 - finished my first summer read 

- took a walk in my neighborhood + met a neighbor (hi, ms lola apparently she had a Haitian neighbor named funmi who taught her how to steam fish. cool) 

- no one has taken my name url www.funmioke.com 

 xo tito

The Lying Wikipedia Page.

OK, I lied. For posterity sake, to revive the wordsmith in me, and to re-ignite my interest in writing, I shall continue this blog. I was asked earlier last month "What will you add to your Wikipedia page this year?", almost as a way to think inwardly about what consequential, life-changing thing I will accomplish this year. I couldn't give an answer to that question. I also didn't feel compelled to give an answer (kudos to giving myself grace) for many reasons.' Forone, I believe that there are years that asks questions, and there are years that provide answers. Which leads neatly to the second reason. Two, everyone knows that every year will not be seminal on paper. Every "great" person's entry on Wikipedia doesn't have a yearly accomplishment listed. So for me, passing the bar exam last year, joining the best law firm in the world, and concurrently opening up my own practice is enough copy for my Wikipedia entry for the next two or so years (quality over quantity, baby). Despite not having an answer, I did feel compelled to list out a few projects I plan to continue this year to essentially create that copy for the years that said endeavors would bloom (e.g. "in 2025 xyz project garnered close to 1 million subscribers" as said accomplishment). For now, given that I am still in my transition/settling in phase, I think two projects are enough to take on in the coming weeks and months. Project #1: "the Immigration Esquire" - I started this Instagram page in 2021 to encourage my network to be more informed about immigration law and policy, not just in their home country, but around the world. The plan now is to move this blog, if you will, past the social media platform. I will create an actual blog anchor that will provide more in-depth content, which will also be distributed across all social media platforms. I will also include a component that provides resources for the younger generation to get more interested in immigration law (paying it forward) - which will also provide scholarship opportunities for undergraduate students interested in immigration law. This is really exciting. Project #2: It is not as fleshed out yet, but I want to consolidate my name brand. more on this later. I look forward to seeing these projects to its fruition. Although I may not have a wikipedia accomplishment this year, I am laying the groundwork for the years that will provide those answers. -Funmi

Adieu.

Thanks to a friend, I revisited this blog today. I am happy to see how far I've come since then, and am so grateful for the growth. Thanks to this blog for allowing me to express my thoughts at a time where I felt I didn't have a voice. That litle girl would be proud of the stellar babe I have become today. Thanks for the memories & Adieu. -tito.

Sigh.

Ok. So i'm typing this from my second year of law school. Second year! mate! about to be done with my second year. Going to my final year. Man what a time to be proud of myself. Sure I am not anywhere near where I want to be, but I have achieved so much and that's something to be proud of. I pray to take the necessary strides to raise my grade point average over the next two weeks. That's the most pressing concern right now. Not guys , not a wedding, not feelings. So I pray that while I do what it takes to recognize my feelings, I also do what it takes to put it in perspective and remember always my investment. don't f&#k this up, funmi

Real Tears.

I cried last night. What makes these tears sos significant was the premise: For the first time ever, I ws disturbed about my tears. I actually didn't want to cry. For the first time in a long time prior to crying, I was actually happy with life. I had joy. So immediately the tears came down I began to hate everyone and everything responsible for those tears. How could people be so cruel that they take happiness away from me? I could not understand it. So I cried. I am learning that happiness is in my hands. Not in the next man's. So I will continue to do what it takes to make me happy. For me, because of me. -Funmi

Fulfillment

 

 

This is a word that has been thrown at me to really think about.

I've been reading a self-help dating newsletter *transparency moment...first step into change is admitting you need help* & have been considering therapy....all because of this case of breaking down when my emotions (& insecurities) affect things I really care about the most and/or can't control.

In this instance, it is my relations with people of the other sex. Thankfully I've made progress in externally giving off the vibes of independent, attractive, and confident... yet experiences prove that my internal ( what seals the deal & what matters most if we're really being honest) needs improvement.

The mini-lessons in dating from that newsletter are a part of such efforts in improvement.

Today's newsletter discussed that the most effective preventative medicine for the disease of "neediness" is to live a more fulfilling life.

So in saying this, I ask the question:


                               What the hell makes Funmi come alive?  What is she doing to get it (ASAP)
& the list goes as follows:

how I judged this: As soon as I think about it/engaging in it, does it make my heart feel less weighted/ at ease? When I do it & no one cares, would I still be just as passionate about it?


                                       Travel
Funmi will take a trip to go out of state each month and will also travel to other cities each month. She will set aside a travel budget to do these things.
Goal: Every weekend, funmi will have travel plans*
                        Plan:
                              August - Atlanta, New Orleans
                             September- Atlanta OR Dallas & Hamilton Pool Preserve

    October - Miami, Austin, Gorman Falls, Day trip to the             Woodlands/Pearland/Sugarland or GALVESTON

                             November - Brazos Bend, Tubing the Guadalupe, ATL< CHI < ATL
                              December -ATL - DC - PHIL- TO - NIAGRA - NYC - ATL
                           January - NYC - ATL
                          February - LAX/LAV
                            March -      HAV
                            April - ATX
                            May -
                           June/July/August- NYC >Dubai - LON>BAR>MIL>MARRK> PARIS> BER

                                        Biking
Funmi will get a bicycle from offerup or 5 miles
Goal: Buy a bike by August 31st

 Dancing & Music & gyming (maybe)

Funmi will take time to dance recreationally everyday

She will improve her diet

She will improve her flexibility

Goal: She will eventually post her dance routines on the internet

                           

People affirming her (love language)
Not to be confusing with seeking approval from others, but Funmi does not deny the thin line that exist between the two
Funmi will practice her makeup skills & will eventually post her skills on the internet. Funmi will stay busy and affirm herself. Funmi will feel beautiful. Funmi will pray to God that this LSAT is the last one that she will have to take because all this studying is taking her away from people and amplifies her insecurities and pent for neediness just a bit.
Funmi will use blogging as an avenue for expression
Goal: Funmi will aim to not allow the burden of approval/affirmation rest on a singular being (that's way too much) but will rather build a brand & allow it to come from there


                                                  Feeling cared about
Funmi will give it to herself & will also do so for others, not necessarily expecting people to return the favor. Funmi will also love her family first.
Goal: Funmi will eventually cease to seek care from strangers



                                          Foreign
Literally get excited when I think about travelling, or the possibility of improving my German language skills, and learning French. I also enjoy engaging in Nigerian milieus (the organic ones of course, nothing diluted over here) along with other organic milieus


                                     Content Creation
This is a bit more difficult for me because  of my perfectionist nature, but I promise myself to work on this this Fall (when I'm not travelling or even both). I hate to use the phrase 'stay busy', so instead I'll invoke the phrase "stay passionately busy" ---since this is a tougher egg for me to crack, it should take a bit more of my time & I'll be doing what I love.
Ideas: food blogging (going to NikoNikos tonight!), makeup blogging, and fashion blogging.

Dressing up!

                           (self explanatory! )

 

This list is non-exhaustive, so as I grow and continue to learn more about myself I will ad more to the list.

I also want to highlight the things that do not make me come alive:

-furniture/home building: I put this as first on the list, to one reinforce the fact that it is OK to be this way. You reader may be thinking, it's just furniture, wtf. I guess furniture for me is symbolic of a home & stability. Yes, I do eventually intend to have a home of my own one day, but not necessarily a house....of course my partner and I would/could purchase a house together, but for me to do it on my own, no. & that is OK. I do not consider  myself materialistic in the slightest bit. I get why others do invest their funds into material things and resources (work hard play hard anthem init), but of course rule of thumb....does it make my heart feel at ease when engaging (the thought of owning my own house and decorating it)....no. I love home décor, but the love hate relationship exists with purchasing home décor. I always feel that the money could have been used towards something that is more engaging/exciting for me (anything in the above list). So here is what I will do. I will make sure that the material things (including home décor) that I do acquire tie to my raison d'etre by possibly filming hauls or maybe even filming DIY videos (ah the thought of that just excites me!) lol.

-Feeling as if I am boxed up into one category

-Acquiring money as a sole motive. I can't do things solely for money. point blank period. Which is why I don't quickly think of /jump at side hustles....I need to do better I know.

-Work that I do not like/ see a goal/motive at the end. I'm always wanting to work towards a purpose.




Talk to you guys next weekend,

Funmi Oke

Things I'm excited for tonight: NikoNikos
Tomorrow: studying
This week: Studying
Weekend: ATL + supporting friend + road trip!

Action steps - buy a bike . book ticket to LAX/LAV.

 

Juice life. Lifestyle.

So yesterday marked Day 5 of my Juicing diet (literally grinding all kinds of fruits & vegetables together in a blender with almond milk.

The results:
-a great energizer in the mornings
-I am getting my daily 5 in liquid form....I find the consumption of vegetables to be problematic at times, simply because it  is not sweet. I therefore become iron deficient or maybe feel adept of my daily intake of greens, so this is a great alternative for me.
- My face feels more fresh.
-I feel more healthy.




Pics soon come :)


-Funmi Oke