funmi bolatito wuraola oke
a name so potent filled with manifestations
of happiness joy wealth a high that can never
go low but lo and behold
lifes taught her to hold dear the treasures that
each good day brings so she teases
a japanese variation and etches it
on her heart (skin).
what’s in a name?
fumi /japanese means wealth, beauty
“I find introverts weird,” random guy at the beach resort in accra said uninvitedly, in the midst of chatting me up (also uninvitedly). “But you don’t look like an introvert,” he opines further, as if to mitigate the starkness of his prior statement.
None of this aspect of our exchange mattered. Most important to me was how I admitted (for the first time) my personality. I spoke about it briefly here. It was the first time that i was proud to state this. I don’t feel the need to constantly be seen. I adopted a quite outward personality in my late 20’s, and that didnt serve me well in the long run given the disconnect between how much I shared content online yet failed to follow through in the actual engaging with others part of social media (I keep harping about this because this stint taught me so much about myself and for that I am grateful).
I don’t necessarily feel the need to extert myself or make my presence known. My presence always speaks for itself.
That is exemplified with the way I spent the night before new years eve (it was so perfect that I wish this was my new years eve). I had gone to a restaurant on my jays (my new favorite phrase) called Bella Afrik. It was a nice way to wind down the night given how I had spent the day - ok actually it was quite the chilled day through and through: I had gone to brunch earlier in the day, then went home and took a nap (woke up by 7pm). I wanted to end the night on a sweet note, so I went to this restaurant after not being let in to No. 19 (they were having a private event). I found a seat at the bar next to two ladies that I ended up befriending. We chatted over food and drinks and shimmied our hips to the afrobeats playing pleasantly loud in the background - it was the holidays after all: good feels all around. we decided we didn’t want to end the night there. After trying Bloom Bar + another bar to no avail, we ended up at a more local spot, The Woods.
I was so happy about the ambience at The Woods that I exclaimed this exactly upon entering. It was not packed, people were in their respective spaces just lounging and we did the same. We enjoyed the night, laughed, smoked, ate, and enjoyed one another’s company into the wee hours of the night.
(post- edit commentary: I had lunch with friends on January 7th in Dallas, TX that said they also went to The Woods a different night, so now that location has lost its low key allure for me. Motivation to find a new spot next time I go to Accra, then.)
That was how I spent the night before new years eve. Now fast forward to the next night that I was on the beach in conversation with this guy. I was in the middle of writing out my reflection on 2023, so focused that anyone that disturbed me was met with my “written all over her face annoyed” look. That didn’t stop him from engaging in conversation with me. “Working on a holiday?” “No, just writing out my reflection of this year and goals for the next” “Oh…*proceeds to ask further probing questions*”.
After he leaves, I finish my frozen drink as I close out my reflection and goal writing session, pray a bit, then by 8 pm I am on my way home to change for dinner. I eat dinner at Shogun, a Japanese restaurant, on my jays. My last meal of 2023 was two slightly underwhelming sushi rolls and a nice cocktail. By 10 pm I am in bed, ready to sleep into the new year with my alarm of such transition being the fireworks that start to strike so effortlessly and in tandem by midnight.
Happy new year.
Funmi Oke
Around July/August 2023, I decided I would spend December 2023 traveling through Africa, or in more concrete terms, to four different African countries, all in different regions (two in the same).
I have been actively doing bucket list travel since 2018. I thought I wanted to be a travel blogger, Instagram worthy pictures and trendy, informational content and all. That venture taught me more about myself than any other venture I had undertaken since that point, specifically that I am not “social enough” to naturally and successfully be a travel blogger, nor is the desire enough for me to learn how adopt this personality. This explanation was a long and short way to excitedly share that my new outlet for capturing and documenting my travel will be through my self-titled website, funmioke.com (a very low stakes, yet fulfilling way for me to still document my travel to an interested audience, without the fanfare).
Since 2017, I have travelled to 30 countries (now 32), but never really through Africa. When I was making plans for the holidays, I already knew I wanted to be in warmer climates, i.e home for me, Nigeria. I also knew, based on experience, that I would have no issue if I were to travel to a few countries in Africa before heading to Nigeria. This is what brought about the desire then research I did to commit to traveling to Kenya, then South Africa, then Nigeria, and finally Ghana.
I am in Nigeria writing this on the tail end of my trip, so as you can see, we did it. I am first and foremost grateful to God for journey mercies. As a solo traveler, female at that, it says much about my bold spirit (and maybe organizational skills) to navigate and handle all the logistics of connecting through four countries in a less commonly “explored” continent.
I will not lie, getting closer to my December 4 departure date, my adventure was finally dawning on me, and the nerves were setting in (to the point where I was fervently praying for journey mercies as I was showering hours before my trip). You know how you set out to do something unconventional, but don’t realize the magnitude till it reaches the time? That’s always me.
Anyway, sitting here reminiscing now on the past three adventure-filled weeks, and I smile. I had such a great time, and am grateful for safe landings so far, especially given how I was at some point sandwiched between a babe carrying my luggage and a motorcyclist riding at 3:45am in Mombasa, Kenya frantically trying to get to a train terminal (definitely a story for another day).
Here’s to more wild rides, and equally more safe landings, God willing.
p.s. - you need a yellow card if you’re traveling between African countries + always be mindful of visa rules.
Funmi Oke
Borrowing from the wise words of one of the greatest philosophers of our time, Kanye West, “everything I’m not makes me everything I am”.
I learned the hard but needed lesson last year that I need to clearly define my values & stick to them. Don’t get me wrong, I have always been value-driven (wouldn’t be where I am today if I was not). The only difference is my lack of clearly stating them so as to stick to them when most needed.
One thing I love about me is my ability to try things out and rule it out if it doesn’t work out, knowing that it directs/pivots/reroutes me further to defining exactly who I am(hence the above-mentioned quote).
So, here I am explicitly stating my values:
What are your values?
Funmi Oke
I wanted to supplement my “goals” for the year with some guidelines for myself. Those are a bit easier for me to adhere to, given that I am quite rule-driven.
Here goes. I’m also avoiding fluff and cute bow tie content and getting down and dirty this year (iykyk). 2025 will be the year of fluff after all this hard work.
10 guidelines for 2024.
1. Stay away from people who are insistent about misunderstanding you
2. Pray without ceasing
3. People get what they need. The things I don’t need but rather desire, at the right time, with the right person, and at the right place, it will happen. Just focus on aligning these three things for yourself. Find your feet first, funmi, and the rest will flow.
4. Never think for once that you’re undeserving of good things. You deserve it + they will come.
5. Hyper focus on those that inspire you + disengage from those that don’t. Tailor your social media use to your vision
(i enjoy just chilling, not taking life too seriously, no strong face enjoying time with friends planning hang outs + rolling into partnership from there)
6. Keep things to yourself no matter how painful. you genuinely don’t know how much others care to hear your thoughts
7. Desist from the struggle friend persona. You are not a struggle friend. Everything you desire you receive. If you don’t receive it, it was not meant for you.
8. Take more pictures. You’re beautiful.
9. If it’s not exactly what you want don’t go for it unless you have no other choice. Most times, you have a choice.
10. Be patient + master the art of timing (remember the B.E.)
Bonus:
11. stay away from weird people.
12. Never let anyone tell you who you are and are not. You define that for yourself and it’s subject to change based on you.
Funmi Oke
