This is a word that has been thrown at me to really think about.
I've been reading a self-help dating newsletter *transparency moment...first step into change is admitting you need help* & have been considering therapy....all because of this case of breaking down when my emotions (& insecurities) affect things I really care about the most and/or can't control.In this instance, it is my relations with people of the other sex. Thankfully I've made progress in externally giving off the vibes of independent, attractive, and confident... yet experiences prove that my internal ( what seals the deal & what matters most if we're really being honest) needs improvement.
The mini-lessons in dating from that newsletter are a part of such efforts in improvement.
Today's newsletter discussed that the most effective preventative medicine for the disease of "neediness" is to live a more fulfilling life.
So in saying this, I ask the question:
What the hell makes Funmi come alive? What is she doing to get it (ASAP)
& the list goes as follows:
how I judged this: As soon as I think about it/engaging in it, does it make my heart feel less weighted/ at ease? When I do it & no one cares, would I still be just as passionate about it?
Travel
Funmi will take a trip to go out of state each month and will also travel to other cities each month. She will set aside a travel budget to do these things.
Goal: Every weekend, funmi will have travel plans*
Plan:
August - Atlanta, New Orleans
September- Atlanta OR Dallas & Hamilton Pool Preserve
October - Miami, Austin, Gorman Falls, Day trip to the Woodlands/Pearland/Sugarland or GALVESTON
November - Brazos Bend, Tubing the Guadalupe, ATL< CHI < ATLDecember -ATL - DC - PHIL- TO - NIAGRA - NYC - ATL
January - NYC - ATL
February - LAX/LAV
March - HAV
April - ATX
May -
June/July/August- NYC >Dubai - LON>BAR>MIL>MARRK> PARIS> BER
Biking
Funmi will get a bicycle from offerup or 5 miles
Goal: Buy a bike by August 31st
Dancing & Music & gyming (maybe)
Funmi will take time to dance recreationally everyday
She will improve her diet
She will improve her flexibility
Goal: She will eventually post her dance routines on the internet
People affirming her (love language)
Not to be confusing with seeking approval from others, but Funmi does not deny the thin line that exist between the two
Funmi will practice her makeup skills & will eventually post her skills on the internet. Funmi will stay busy and affirm herself. Funmi will feel beautiful. Funmi will pray to God that this LSAT is the last one that she will have to take because all this studying is taking her away from people and amplifies her insecurities and pent for neediness just a bit.
Funmi will use blogging as an avenue for expression
Goal: Funmi will aim to not allow the burden of approval/affirmation rest on a singular being (that's way too much) but will rather build a brand & allow it to come from there
Feeling cared about
Funmi will give it to herself & will also do so for others, not necessarily expecting people to return the favor. Funmi will also love her family first.
Goal: Funmi will eventually cease to seek care from strangers
Foreign
Literally get excited when I think about travelling, or the possibility of improving my German language skills, and learning French. I also enjoy engaging in Nigerian milieus (the organic ones of course, nothing diluted over here) along with other organic milieus
Content Creation
This is a bit more difficult for me because of my perfectionist nature, but I promise myself to work on this this Fall (when I'm not travelling or even both). I hate to use the phrase 'stay busy', so instead I'll invoke the phrase "stay passionately busy" ---since this is a tougher egg for me to crack, it should take a bit more of my time & I'll be doing what I love.
Ideas: food blogging (going to NikoNikos tonight!), makeup blogging, and fashion blogging.
Dressing up!
(self explanatory! )
This list is non-exhaustive, so as I grow and continue to learn more about myself I will ad more to the list.
I also want to highlight the things that do not make me come alive:
-furniture/home building: I put this as first on the list, to one reinforce the fact that it is OK to be this way. You reader may be thinking, it's just furniture, wtf. I guess furniture for me is symbolic of a home & stability. Yes, I do eventually intend to have a home of my own one day, but not necessarily a house....of course my partner and I would/could purchase a house together, but for me to do it on my own, no. & that is OK. I do not consider myself materialistic in the slightest bit. I get why others do invest their funds into material things and resources (work hard play hard anthem init), but of course rule of thumb....does it make my heart feel at ease when engaging (the thought of owning my own house and decorating it)....no. I love home décor, but the love hate relationship exists with purchasing home décor. I always feel that the money could have been used towards something that is more engaging/exciting for me (anything in the above list). So here is what I will do. I will make sure that the material things (including home décor) that I do acquire tie to my raison d'etre by possibly filming hauls or maybe even filming DIY videos (ah the thought of that just excites me!) lol.
-Feeling as if I am boxed up into one category
-Acquiring money as a sole motive. I can't do things solely for money. point blank period. Which is why I don't quickly think of /jump at side hustles....I need to do better I know.
-Work that I do not like/ see a goal/motive at the end. I'm always wanting to work towards a purpose.
Talk to you guys next weekend,
Funmi Oke
Things I'm excited for tonight: NikoNikosTomorrow: studying
This week: Studying
Weekend: ATL + supporting friend + road trip!
Action steps - buy a bike . book ticket to LAX/LAV.
